Excerpt: Jaroslav

She pressed her fingernails into the palm of her hand, letting four little crescent moons indent into her skin. Slowly uncurling her fingers, she contemplated the little mock satellites that gradually rose back into continuity with the rest of her dermis.

“Hallo Aðalbjörg-683.”

She lost interest in her fingernails and looked up. The park bench outside the Department of Taxes was not a place people usually recognized each other. The sun shone behind the head of the man who had spoken, obscuring his face with a dazzling effect. She knew his voice. He stepped sideways and out from in front of the light. Instantly recognizable, it was Bjarni-754, a fellow Tax Collector. He brushed a curly brown lock of hair off his hooked nose.

“Bjarni-754, how nice to see you. Why aren't you in your lion costume?”

His thin lips curved up into a smile.

“I'm off duty. Besides, I don't wear it constantly, unlike you and your beloved cowl.”

She pulled at the brown knit cowl around her neck. She was off duty too but always kept it with her in case she needed to cover her face. Bjarni-754 shifted awkwardly in the silence, hoping he hadn't offended her. He did not want to be in the paper as the next Citizen Comrade that had been Silenced. But she had gone back to examining her hands, forgetting what he had said.

“Go to sleep, go to sleep...” she softly began singing to herself, forgetting that Bjarni-754 was still there.

They had tried to indoctrinate her at the youngest age possible.

“Close your eyes, and do not peep...”

They had almost succeeded too. But the wonders of the funny symbols on paper and on doors prompted her to learn what they meant long before they expected any Child to read.

“Speak your mind, I will call...”

Asking about the letters only garnered reprimands from Mentors. She did lose interest momentarily in learning the ability to read.

“Timeless Dark Ones, make you fall...”

It was not until another Child noticed funny looking scribbles on her neck did she obsessively renew her quest to know the message tattooed there.

“Listen Child, to your peers...”

She had to be careful with whom she shared her desire to read.

“Report the sin, reveal their fears...”

Children were taught early that any dissenting views had to be reported to the Mentors. The better to correct the view, or, if the Child refused to change, be kidnapped from your bed by the Dark Ones or better known, Retrievers.

“Disappear, fade in time...”

There had been one such Child she trusted to help her learn to read. He drew the letters from her neck as best he could onto the floor with orange juice. They kept their ability to read a secret for a long time.

“Forget your friend, recall the crime...” Her voice faltered.

She could never forget his name. He had been caught reading a paper out loud by another Child. The Mentors had been informed immediately and she did not see him for the rest of the day. Only at night when all the Children were tucked in bed did she see his shuddering form huddled up in his bed covers. When morning came, his bed was empty, sheets thrown back in a disheveled manner. Everyone forgot he existed but remembered that they shouldn't get out of line, in case they would make the old lullaby come true. But she could not forget his name, Anatoly-97. It might have been then that she decided to never give up her free will in remembrance of him. She could still find him if he was still alive. His name would have changed but she was sure she would know him when she saw him.

“Comrade... why are you singing?” asked  Bjarni-754 with an air of concern. His voice seemed far off as she traveled down memory lane.

She couldn't sing the rest of the lullaby. They had sung that almost every night when she was a Child. It varied in length of verses depending on how long it took for the last Child to sleep but it stuck in your head when you slept.

“Comrade, Comrade Aðalbjörg-683, are you ok?” His voice came back and snapped her into the present.

“Já...” she said rubbing her neck where her parents names and her true parent-given name were tattooed.

Bjarni-754 waved his hand at her in farewell, a bemused look on his face. He turned around and resumed his walk. She watched his tall lanky frame recede from view.

“Anatoly-97... Jaroslav...” she whispered to herself, “My name is not Aðalbjörg-683. It's Jaroslav.”

Bjarni-754 had already rounded a corner and had not a prayer of hearing her. Jaroslav stared up into the clouds and adjusted her glasses, pushing her wavy brown hair behind her ears in the mean time. The sun reflected off her porcelain skin and made her dark brown eyes appear black. The only important names she could remember now were Anatoly-97 and Jaroslav. She had even forgotten her own Child name, but not Anatoly-97. Jaroslav licked her lips and finished what she could remember of the lullaby.

“Live to work, work for all
Stop the ones, who would appall
Keep in line, look ahead
Perfect your life, watch where you tread...”